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Lindsey

Action Shot: A Sticky Situation

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We are excited to release our first Countdown Action Shot! Action Shots are short stories about the Characters in Countdown: Action Edition and the ridiculous world they live in. We will be releasing new Action Shots until we launch Countdown: Action Edition on KS to help everyone get into the right mood for an 80s movie game night. 

 

A Sticky Situation

 

WA-CHAK! One solid kick from steel-toed boots easily bashed open the cheap doors at The Pancake Stack. Quickly scanning the room, she saw five leather-clad guys clutching machine guns to their chests. Who did these assholes think they were, bothering poor Kathy on a busy Saturday night? Never mind disturbing the honest, local families trying to have a special brinner with the kids. Does anyone actually use that word? She breathed out sharply. She would need to focus to keep this from getting out of hand.

 

At the sound of breaking particle board, the five gunmen spun on the balls of their feet. They were all clustered together around an old register. The slowly rotating pie display spilled colorful shadows that pass over each of their faces in turn. These guys weren't even wearing masks. Really, if you’re going to go through all the trouble of robbing a place at least watch some movies or something. She decided to dub them the Amateurs, in honor of their idiocy displayed here tonight. 

 

“Oh, thank goodness you're here!” Kathy gasped. She was standing behind the register in her familiar yellow apron. Pieces of pancake covered the normally pristine uniform, and maple syrup dripped slowly from her crimson, honeycomb hair. She wiped her hands on her apron in quick, nervous motions, then attempted to re-adjust the cemented hair. Her hands froze as two of the Amateurs aimed their guns at her.

 

The other three Amateurs quickly trained their barrels on the unexpected stranger. A grin crept across her face as she saw them thinking, who has the balls to come in through the front door? The answer, clearly, was that no balls were needed. They all looked at this newcomer and her accompanying confidence with confusion. She watched their faces in amusement as they tried to process what they were seeing: a female cop strolling in here with aviator sunglasses on – at night! - and a.. shotgun? Was that a shotgun?

 

Their expression of confusion was now laced with some mild panic and concern. Behind the door, her partner sighed, rolling his eyes. “Alright, rookie, look,” he said sternly, peering over his own sunglasses. “You can't be making a mess like last time--” He was interrupted by Kathy screaming, as one of the Amateurs leaped onto the counter pulling her up with him. “No time, old man!” the rookie yelled as she dashed forward, jumped onto a booth, spun off into the air, and started pumping shells with calculated precision into the bottles of ATOMIC maple syrup sitting throughout the restaurant. KaCHOW, kaCHOW, schklikt, kaCHOW—

 

She shot, shot, reloaded; shot, shot, reloaded – her feet never touching the ground for more than a second. KaCHOW, schklikt, kaCHOW, kaCHOW- The noise of the gun almost took on a rhythmic base as she danced and dodged around the room, lightly stepping over a local lumberjack still causally eating his pancakes.

               

ATOMIC syrup and other condiments exploded into the air, creating an elegant fountain of sweet and savory. The front three Amateurs scowled at the lady cop, who was now balancing on top of the lumberjack’s booth. They brought their guns up to shoot – but the syrup, which had mixed in the air with some GREAT SCOTT hot sauce, began to come down like a biblical rain. Their guns clattered to the floor as they screamed, the unexpected biohazard helplessly stuck to their eyes and faces.

 

With a smirk, the lady cop looked down at her handiwork, aviators glinting in the fluorescent light. “MAPLE I went too far...” She could feel her partner staring at her with disapproval and clenched teeth. The word “ROOOOOKKIIIE!” bellowed through the small diner but she ignored him – she had people to save.

 

Two of the Amateurs remained: one had avoided the syrup bomb by ducking behind the counter with Kathy, the other had used one of his companions as a human shield... both looked pretty angry.

 

“WHAT’S UP YOUR ASS ASSHOLE?” She yelled, only to realize the second Amateur was already running at her full-speed, spraying his machine gun wildly. RaaaTATATATATATAT! Families shrieked and ducked under tables – one woman hit her plate on her way down, flinging a pepper omelet towards the cop.

 

“JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU B--”

 

She snatched the omelet from the air – “Look, I didn't mean to get JALA-PENO BUSINESS, but...” – and snapped it like a wet towel in the locker room, right at the robber's gun. RaaaTAT..ta..raaaaa... the pepper omelet entered into the gun’s barrel with a wet noise, jamming the bullets in cheesy justice. Astonished and terrified, the robber fell onto the table, knocking over a fresh stack of perfectly good pancakes. The lumberjack looked up, frowning.

               

It's not over yet, she thought to herself, turning to the final Amateur... He stood there on the counter like one of those cartoon weasels from that new movie in the theater. He even had a toothpick in his mouth now and was fiddling with it like he still had control of the situation. She looked at him with unamused disgust. Kathy, on the other hand, looked pissed. Seeing Kathy’s expression, the rookie cop wondered if maybe the Amateur was worried about the wrong woman.

 

“Whaddaya got, girl?!” The robber seemed to come back to reality – stood up straighter, grabbed Kathy tighter, actually pointed his gun back at her.

 

“This.” She aimed her shotgun at his chest.

 

“Oka- I mean- but then I'll just shoot this waitre--?” For a brief moment he had time to express his confusion, then his body was flung backwards into the pie display. When the landslide of pies finally finished falling, he was indistinguishable from the rest of the food scattering the floor.

               

Kathy tutted and wiped her hands on her apron again. With a quick tidying of her hair, she hopped down from the counter and turned back to the kitchen. Stomping across the backs of the robbers that had given up their struggle on the syrup-covered floor, the rookie cop let herself slump into a chair at the counter. She watched as Kathy spun cutely back around to face her, wink, and place a dish on the table with a no nonsense, “On the house.”

 

The cop smiled as she looked down at the steaming plate. “Just like this fight: over, easy.” She shoved some eggs in her mouth while her disgruntled partner took the stool beside her and sighed.

 

-Zoe

 

Stay tuned to learn more about the Action Hero Role in Countdown: Action Edition! 

 

 

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